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Gemma -
25 December 2020 @ 10:00 am

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Current Location: United Kingdom, London
Current Mood: okayokay
Gemma -
27 August 2013 @ 11:11 am
They're going to turn off the machines today.
they allowed me to think there was some chance, I knew when I saw her last night she was worse than before, she seemed less conscious and not breathing properly, her lungs are finished. there is nothing more that can be done.

I wish they'd never let me think we had a chance.
My mother was 45 years old. she deserved a second chance.
life chewed her up and spat her out, she deserved a chance to make good.
I'm so full of hatred.
Current Music: Suede - The Next Life
Gemma -
23 May 2013 @ 03:53 am
This week has been literally ridiculous, then this goes and happens.
for people in the UK I'm sure you've seen the Woolwich Machete attack today on the news, which is apparently politically motivated. naturally in true dramatic style it's on Gary's street, you more or less have to walk past to get to his from the town centre and today has been utter carnage and they closed down most of the roads in and out.

It takes literally nothing to cause violence here, two people at the traffic lights on push bikes started throwing punches in the hour afterwards and kids are probably just the worst kind of people. they're queuing up to see who can get the closest look because apparently seeing a beheaded soldier means you're special, just millions of camera phones and gawkers as if the actual news isn't horrific enough.

I realised earlier on the guy who actually killed him was preaching in the centre a few weeks back, I knew I recognized him but didn't know how, and tonight at about nine the English Defence League has rolled in because naturally two singular muslims commit a crime and it's the business of a bunch of fascists to defend us poor white people by of course making everything a million times worse, the stupidest part of it all is the two actual criminals aren't here so who are you fighting? throwing bricks at the police, because them having to turn up at that scene, remove the body of a young man shoot down two others, secure evidence and fill out IPCC paperwork for a reduced wage and pension wasn't enough bullshit to deal with for one day you need to bring your superior intellect to the party.
Apparently we're at war with Islam, as if it's all that black and white, good vs bad.

I can't get over the brutality of it, the sheer utter awfulness to do such a thing to another human being just defies logic. Life is so ridiculously fragile.
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Gemma -
26 December 2012 @ 05:44 am
I've had a lovely christmas, ate far far too much, got pissed as hell, absolutely spoilt rotten this is why I'm just going to leave it here.

because I know how Downton Abbey ends, I knew weeks ago but I cannot actually bare it, tv went out on the 24th and I've had to download everything because of the shitty reception but I'll have to watch it tomorrow with my family and I can't do it, because if I never watch Downton again Matthew will live forever IRRATIONALLOGIC.
The tears, the snot the real life sorrow, nope, not doing it.

I've actually started chewing my fingernails again and I haven't been able to since 2008, I've got half a bottle of Vodka and two bottles of wine left, how much will I have to drink to not absolutely ruin myself publicly over the death of a fictional character.
Gemma -
28 September 2012 @ 01:58 am
Seriously just watched Episode three of this season of Sons Of Anarchy and legitimately Kurt Sutter is the actual worst, the sheer hyped level of emotional upset this programme causes is too intense, I literally fucking bawled at my tv, there is a sense of mourning in my house you don't see when real people die we're all just actually bereft for this fictional champion amongst men.

Opie. you fucking fucker. anyone else but never opie. and yet you go there. we're done sutter, you hurt my fucking feels.

Gah. I can't handle the funeral next week I'm just going to curl up in the foetal position and sob into my sofa cushions till it's over, Seriously I watched an hour long documentary about Dennis Wilson which made me a bit sad then this!? I was not prepared. my heart it hurteth. *mew*
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Gemma -
26 April 2012 @ 12:45 am

I'd love to have a time machine so I could go back to 1999, firstly tell myself to stop wearing polo necks because they make you look like a penis, then secondarily tell my teeny weeny former self I'm going to see the friggin' Backstreet Boys and I'm legally old enough to drink booze before during and after and high five the shit out of strangers because I'm a fucking Champ then I'd have laughed in my stupid 12 year old face, good boyfriends buy flowers, Champ boyfriends sit on Ebay all day fighting other people so you can go and scream at Nick Carters face. also DONNY WAHLBERG. because it's always relevant and OMG.OMG.OMG. DONNY WAHLBERG. you guys I know one new kids on the block song but DONNY WAHLBERG. WAHHHHH.

I am literally going to high five myself in the face because I'm scaring the cat.
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Gemma -
16 January 2012 @ 03:03 pm

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Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Chapel Club - Roads | Powered by Last.fm
Gemma -
04 January 2012 @ 11:30 pm
The best way to intake alcohol is to not let anyone know you've got it and slowly get plastered whilst watching period dramas and or anything everything with dan stevens in and then everyone thinks you just really really enjoy corsets.

January sucks and it's goddamn freezing so I intend to just stay here revelling in all the corsets till the temperature gets high enough that I don't need my dressing gown 24/7 plus I still have stitches still so my excuse is I'm keeping my stitches warm till they decide to leave the mother ship, I have made no promises to myself this year that I'll be better in any way or attempt wondrous feats, my intentions are as follows, more books then last year, more gigs then last year, more booze then last year, more sex then last year and if I get fatter or skinnier in the process i'll buy bigger or smaller jeans which make my arse look wonderful.

This might actually turn out to be a pretty big and fun year all in all.
Current Mood: refreshedrefreshed
Current Music: The Line Of Beauty
Gemma -
25 November 2011 @ 01:37 pm
Well this is going well, Black Friday - so far today a court summons and a blood test which requires me to come into the surgery and have a "sit down" with my doctor, apparently it's not something she wants to tell me over the phone, that generally means one of very few things and I've been constantly sick for over a month. Thanks for calling, I truly, truly wish you hadn't bothered.

Edit : I went over to the doctors surgery and cried till someone would see me, apparently I am anaemic which explains why I struggle staying awake no matter how much I sleep and I've got Glandular Fever, despite never actually having the "fever" part, which is unexpected but the relief. o.m.g.
Current Mood: numbnumb
Gemma -
22 September 2011 @ 02:18 am
Seriously. fucking seriously I've just broken my phone. I howled, I'm so sad I howled then burst into tears.
I waited god knows how many months for them to deliver it, loved it and then broke it because I'm stupid - the screen was scratched so I bought a new case, ebay being ebay it's a piece of shit and it destroyed my phone. and now I have to buy a new phone and the money i've spent on unlocking it, and multiple safety items I've bought to stop it from getting broken are completely moot.

and double points I snapped my memory card too so all my photos are gone as well.

RIP Jack.